I am such a fucking dork. I can't believe what I just did. …

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Posted by: marxychick1 Original: 10/18/2005 10:26 PM Views: 20 Comments: 6 eProps: 12 Read Comments Post a Comment Back to Your Xanga Site

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2 eProps from: Kylie_Pendragon SKamal Tiger2002 Dragon2000 twilightchild9 peachy92

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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Currently Listening
All the Right Reasons
By Nickelback
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I am such a fucking dork. I can't believe what I just did.

Now, I'm a very nostalgic person. I look back on most of my childhood with great fondness. I had a lot of great friends whom I had some great times with as well, but none of which I keep in touch with. To me, it's always been easier to make a clean break from people then to allow myself the luxury of missing them. Having moved major areas twice- from New York to Florida when I was 9, and from Florida to Missouri when I was 13- I've had to say my fair share of goodbyes. I've made feeble attempts at keeping up with some people, but always with a heart too heavy to really go for it.

Well, tonight I was watching a Fraggle Rock DVD with Alex, and it got me to thinking about my very first best friend, Lisa. Lisa was my best friend since before we started Kindergarten. We had some amazingly fun times together- I literally remember doing and saying some of the silliest things with her. I always felt a real kinship to her because she's one of the only people I'm comfortable saying was (and probably still is) much smarter than me. Anyway, we used to play & watch Fraggles all the time, so that's what sparked me thinking about her.

I maintain basically a vanity account at Classmates.com. I figure is anyone wants to find me they can go ahead, but I'm not very interested in actively pursuing anyone anyway. I've checked in the past and she's not listed on there (at least not for the school we attended together). So tonight, I plugged her name into Google, along with the city where we lived. It came up with a hit- a very credible hit. So, I e-mailed this person. I don't even know if it is my friend, but I tried it anyway. I've never done anything like this before, ever, so I'm feeling like quite the idiot. What if it's not the right person? I'm going to look like an ass. What if it is the right person? How do you bridge 13 years? How do I know she'd even want to?

So, I'm sitting here sobbing, feeling a gamut of emotions I wasn't especially looking forward to. And I don't know if it's positive or negative. Guess I'll wait and see.

Posted 10/18/2005 10:26 PM - 20 Views - 12 eProps - 6 comments

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6 Comments

Hey.. there's nothing wrong with wanting to keep in touch with people who have meant alot to us in the past, Liz. Believe me, I miss some of those people too, although I'm lucky enough to still have Miranda, who's been there for a long time for me. Just think of it this way.. if it's the wrong person.. who cares. It won't make any difference to them, and there's no harm done. If, however, it is the right person, then the worst that can happen is that you don't have much in common any more, and you'll need to move on. But you'll always have your memories of that person, and who knows? Maybe you'll get to know each other again. Friendships have a way of bridging barriers.. just give it a chance.

Posted 10/19/2005 2:02 AM by Kylie_Pendragon - reply

it won't be a problem if it's not the person. it's through the internet..you'll never have to hear from that person again. it was an honest mistake and it will be like it never happened in the first place.

and if it is the right person..kudos to you for taking the first step to bridge 13 years.

It is possible to do so, Liz. People bridge 15, 20, 25 years and it's like they were never apart. All it takes is patience. A little bit of luck. And lots of love.

Posted 10/19/2005 10:44 AM by SKamal - reply

I know I haven't commented much on your Xanga, but I figured I'd throw my 2 cents in here anyway. There have been times when I found someone from the past and didn't email. There have been times that I did. I lost track of a very good friend from when I first joined the Navy. We kept in touch for a while, but then lost contact for about 6 years. I happened to find an address that might have been for his parents'. I decided to write them a letter asking if their son was who I describe. I included my phone number in the letter, just in case they had any questions. Less than 2 weeks later (cause I used snail mail) my buddy called me. He said he had been trying to find me too! He was glad I sent that letter to his parents, and we have been in contact ever since. He recently moved to my area and we hang out when we can.

So, yes....I believe you did the right thing. Even if the person isn't the one you hope, you still made the effort. And that says a lot about you. :o)

And if this doesn't work, and you still want to try to find the person, or anyone else....try this website www.zabasearch.com . It won't give you email addresses, but it may help you find a street address and/or phone number for someone you've been looking for.

Take care,

Travis

Posted 10/19/2005 7:11 PM by Tiger2002 - reply

I've lost touch with so many people but then again I was never really that close to anyone in school that I would have kept in touch with. I didn't have the greatest social life in high school but I do have one close friend that I keep in contact with here and there. It's difficult with people like Travis and I who've moved away from our home states and then from duty station to duty station, meeting different people every 2-4 years. I really hope it's the person you remember and you can get back together again even if it's just through email.

Posted 10/19/2005 8:50 PM by Dragon2000 - reply

my friend Tanya and i knew each other in 1997-1998. she wasn't part of the big group i was in (erica's group) but she lived in the same res hall and she knew the same people because her roommate was in that group. every now and then i would share a meal in the dining hall with tanya. she always seemed nice--kinda softspoken, i thought-- and i considered her a friend, maybe not as close as erica was but definitely included in my nucleus. eventually we lost contact for years. christmas of 2003, i found her home address in my stash of personal stuff from that year. i figured, what the hell... and sent her a christmas card.

fast forward almost two years later, i am going to her wedding in April (yay, another vacation back home!) as she is one of my dear friends. she was SO happy, so very happy that i made the effort to contact her. now we email each other regularly and i stayed with her in May and last August. now we are definitely closer than we ever were before. (and she is definitely NOT softspoken! ha!) as for erica, we send each other snail mail ONCE or twice a year. she's not so great at keeping correspondence (it's a two way street) but sometimes when we need to reminisce on that one fantastic year, we'll write each other.

anyway, my point is, there is no harm at all in reaching out. you just never know. there is no way to predict who in your life will go the distance, who will eventually go their own way and who will find you again. i'm still best friends with the same group from high school and best friends with a select few from college. but it's a mutual effort/desire to want someone in your life. i'm fortunate that the friends I've kept decided that i'm someone very important in their lives. and they make as much of an effort to stay in touch no matter where we are.

i hope you get an answer! :)

Posted 10/19/2005 10:41 PM by twilightchild9 - reply

My luck has been when contacting people from the past, we haven't kept in touch. Sometimes, friendships are only to last for the moment.

If it wasn't your friend, you have nothing to lose. If it was your friend and she never replies, it's her loss, not yours.

I hate playing devil's advocate but being that I'm a military brat, I know how hard it is to maintain a friendship.

Posted 10/23/2005 11:12 AM by peachy92 - reply

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